[tagwex]

BBQ RULES:

We'll be entering the BBQ season in a few months. Therefore it is
important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime
outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the
following chain of events are put into motion :

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes
dessert .
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the
man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand .
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion
zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding
activities can take place without the interference of the woman .

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery .
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking
great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he
flips the meat.

Important again:
( THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
sauces and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off ' and upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

[Sue Deacon]

So true! You did, however forget one thing. If you are having chicken the woman cooks that first before passing it on to the man to 'sear' on the grill. That way you avoid poisoning everyone.

Also, in our experience, once the man has got the fire going nicely, the heavens open and/or the midges descend and everyone beats a hasty retreat to the house leaving the man holding a fishing umbrella over the BBQ saying 'it'll pass over soon'.