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Useful Sayings


 
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Blowin
Rank attained: Vegetable garden tender


Joined: 20 Aug 2008
Posts: 902
Location: Drimoleague, Co Cork

PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 10:47 am    Post subject: Useful Sayings Reply with quote

PARAPROSDOKIANS are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected.
Winston Churchill loved them.
Some examples:
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
3. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
4. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
5 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
6. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
7. To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism. To steal from many is called research.
8. In filling in an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency' - notify: I put 'DOCTOR.'
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look sexy.
11. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
12. A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
14. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Nor is there any future in it.
15. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
16. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but itís getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
18. I am not arguing with you, I am explaining why you are wrong.

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Sue Deacon
Rank attained: Chlorophyll for blood


Joined: 31 Dec 2014
Posts: 2028
Location: West Fermanagh

PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 7:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My eyes ain't what they used to be, they used to be my ears!

It's not irrelevant, it's a hippopotamus.

Both from the wonderful Spike Milligan and used shamelessly by me all the time! Laughing

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Be humble, for you are made of earth
Be noble, for you are made of stars
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Blowin
Rank attained: Vegetable garden tender


Joined: 20 Aug 2008
Posts: 902
Location: Drimoleague, Co Cork

PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good old Spike - he of the famous gravestone.
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Greengage
Rank attained: Chlorophyll for blood


Joined: 09 Nov 2011
Posts: 3012
Location: Kildare

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 7:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesnít work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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Sue Deacon
Rank attained: Chlorophyll for blood


Joined: 31 Dec 2014
Posts: 2028
Location: West Fermanagh

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 9:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You three are a right pair if ever there was one!
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Blowin
Rank attained: Vegetable garden tender


Joined: 20 Aug 2008
Posts: 902
Location: Drimoleague, Co Cork

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 10:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The only bloke worse than a Knowall is the one that argues with him.
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Good guy
Rank attained: Chlorophyll for blood


Joined: 11 Feb 2013
Posts: 2592
Location: Donegal

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 10:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love the paraprosdokians. I've come across a few of them before but didn't know they had a name. This morning's session on here has been SO educational!
On gravestones: a certain lady of my acquaintance does not do hangovers well (who does?). I've threatened that I'll get "I told youse I was wrecked" put on her gravestone.
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tagwex
Rank attained: Chlorophyll for blood


Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Posts: 5118
Location: Co. Wexford

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 10:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Better than those awful puns of yours anyway!!!
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ďItís my field. Itís my child. I nursed it. I nourished it. I saw to its every want. I dug the rocks out of it with my bare hands and I made a living thing of it!Ē

This boy can really sing http://youtu.be/Dgv78D2duBE
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kindredspirit
Rank attained: Chlorophyll for blood


Joined: 10 Nov 2008
Posts: 2281
Location: Mid-west.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blowin wrote:
The only bloke worse than a Knowall is the one that argues with him.


I like this one.

"I'm not arguing with you; I'm just explaining to you how you're wrong."

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A little garden in Co. Limerick.Some non-gardening photographs.
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Good guy
Rank attained: Chlorophyll for blood


Joined: 11 Feb 2013
Posts: 2592
Location: Donegal

PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I must try to remember to use that one on my argumentative 12 yr old!
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