[AJ]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 kms per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darnit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."


The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

I love this part....

"Only when he's been drinking."
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AJ

[verge]

Sounds familiar......... Only joking Mrs Verge.
Ps. I never drink and drive and you shouldn't either kids.
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Q. What is the best soil for growing plants?
A. Your soil.

[Loncey]

Charlie took his girlfriend to her first football game. They had really good seats, right above their teams dugouts.At the end of the game Charlie asked her if she liked it. 'Yeah, it was greta what with the tight pants and stuff' she said' i just dont get why all the fuss about the quarter!' Charlie is confused. ' At the beginning of the game' she explained, ' i saw two guys flip a quarter. Then the rest of the game, all they said was' get the quarter back!
get the quarter back! Hello! its only 25 cents'
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I grow veg but I dont eat them!!! or fruit....